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The Nerve to See Your Freedom Through Ft. Susie Pettit

I love stories of women grabbing the reins of life and steering it in directions most people only dream of.  From a conventional upbringing to defining her life on her terms, Susie Pettit joins me to share how she became the woman with the stories, not the regrets.

Susie Pettit has been helping women live the lives they love for over 20 years. She is the host of the top 1% global podcast the Love Your Life Show and the founder of the Love Your Life School. She is a certified Relationship, Life + Wellness Coach with five sons ages 18-26. Susie is passionate about helping women live lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside. 

You can connect with Susie:

WEBSITE:

www.SMBwell.com 

PODCAST:

https://smbwell.com/itunes

MEMBERSHIP:

http://theLoveYourLifeSchool 

INSTAGRAM:

https://instagram.com/smb.wellness

In this episode, we discuss:

In this episode, Susie shares her heroine’s journey and how she had the nerve to see her freedom through. We discuss:

  • Susie’s wake-up call in her mid-30s, leading her to a major shift. 
  • Her brave decision to step away from societal and familial expectations, navigate a divorce, face family betrayal, and forge her own path. 
  • Rebuilding and rediscovery post-divorce, plus an unexpected love story. 

If you’re craving more freedom in your life, give this episode a listen! 

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Susan Hyatt (00:00):
Is there something you wish you had the nerve to do? Welcome to, you've Got Nerve, the podcast that teaches you how to conquer your fears, upgrade your mindset, and get up the nerve to go after whatever you want. If you wish you had the guts to go all in on your goals, dreams, and desires, this show is for you. I'm master certified life coach Susan Hyatt, and I am so excited for you to join me on this journey. In today's episode, I've got the illustrious and illuminating Susie pet it with me. So Susie's been helping women live the lives they love for over 20 years. She's the host of the top 1% global podcast, the Love Your Life show, and the founder of the Love Your Life School. She's a certified relationship life and wellness coach, and she has five sons ages 18 to 26.

(00:59):
Susie's passionate about helping women live lives that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside. So I can't wait to dive into this episode with you because she shares her heroine's journey and how she got up the nerve to see her freedom through. Y'all aren't going to believe what happens in this episode, and it reminded me of a concept that I've talked about before, living life in the waiting room. So the waiting room is a metaphor for the times when we put ourselves on pause, holding our breath for the right moment, waiting for somebody else to validate our choices or just passively waiting around for life to unfold. So take a moment and think about the last year and how many opportunities did you let just slip by and how many dreams did you put on the back burner? And how often did you remain in situations that were far from ideal?

(02:01):
And how often did you say it's not the right time? Or I'll get to that someday later. Why do we end up in the waiting room of life? There are countless reasons, but here are a few of the common ones. Number one, you're craving validation from others to feel worthy. So do you find yourself worrying about what everyone else thinks about your choices? It's like you're constantly auditioning for your own life, waiting backstage for someone to give the thumbs up. This search for external approval can just trap us in a cycle where our voice gets drowned out by everyone else's opinions. Number two, you're constantly putting off your goals until someday, later. Someday. That magical time in the future when all the stars are going to align except someday has a way of turning into never. We put our dreams on a shelf, telling ourselves we'll get to them when the time is right, when we have more money, more time, or when we are just more.

(03:13):
And this becomes a waiting game that only ends when we decide to stop waiting. Number three, staying in your comfort zone. Alright, so comfort zones are those cozy little bubbles where everything is familiar and safe. Stepping out of them can feel quite terrifying, but growth and comfort don't live on the same block. They're not even in the same damn zip code. Comfort zones are not where dreams come to life. It's where dreams go to take a nap. I'll also say comfort zones can be where you marinate in some ideas, but that's not where they come to life. Number four, fear of failure. Avoiding things you want because you're scared of falling flat on your face. That keeps us stuck in the waiting room. But I want you to ask yourself what's scarier trying and maybe failing or never knowing what miracles are ahead of you.

(04:22):
Number five, delaying your happiness for conditions. We can be experts at delaying our own happiness. We can tell ourselves we'll be happy when fill in the blank. We'll be happy when we lose some weight. We'll be happy when we make more money, not so sure about that. We'll be happy when the kids leave the nest. We'll be happy when the kids come back home. We'll be happy when we get pregnant. We'll be happy. Listen, happiness is not conditional. It's an absolute choice. And as hard as it may be when circumstances are down, it is available right now, not miles down the road when you have the perfect conditions. So waiting for conditions to be just right before we allow ourselves to experience joy is like saving a bottle of champagne for a special occasion that never comes. Why not pop the cork today? If you take one thing away from this pep talk, please let it be this stop waiting.

(05:31):
You don't need an invitation or an ideal scenario to start living, to pursue your goals and create what you crave. So listen, book the trip, and if you're listening to this in March and April, book a trip to Atlanta to come to My Power Table brunch or to Ireland. I'm going in June. Say yes to opportunities that scare and excite you, like maybe you're considering joining my Beyond Business Mastermind. I hope you're scared sighted. Let's create some new revenue and some new goals for you. Dress in a way that makes you feel incredible today, not one day today. And find the courage to step out of the waiting room and step into the life you deserve because the door is unlocked. All you've got to do is walk through it.

Susan Hyatt (06:32):
Welcome to the podcast Susie, who is in Australia, the other side of the world, but that's not where you started out. So let's talk about your journey and how you ended up there.

Susie Pettit (06:45):
Yeah, I actually was born in Chicago, believe it or not, and then my parents moved to outside of Boston when I was two. So I really was, my whole zero to two to 20 was in Massachusetts, and then I moved to Virginia and lived there until I was 50 when I moved to literally the other side of the world. It is 9,756 months since the other hemisphere and the other side of the world. So it's a very fascinating journey. That's why I don't have an accent. And yes, here I am

Susan Hyatt (07:19):
Here and I'm so excited about it because before I hit record, we were talking about how both of us are women in our prime and we are going for it and we are getting up the nerve or have the nerve to shake off cultural expectations or limitations on women our age. But you were saying this awakening really started happening for you in your thirties.

Susie Pettit (07:52):
Yeah, mid thirties. I really was raised in a place where a lot of us were in sort of the household, be the good girl, do what other people want you to do. And I really got until age 30, living a life that other people wanted me to live, not paying much attention to what I wanted to do. I was a really good people pleaser and I had some interesting dynamics in my past that led me really to have low self-confidence, low esteem, and look to others to see what I should do. I was very much doing what I call outside in living. If outside thought I was good, then inside I told myself I was good instead of paying any attention to what Susie wanted, what Susie needed, any of that. And when I was in my mid thirties, one of my dear friends who was living pretty much a parallel life, we would get together at our playgroup.

(08:47):
I had three kids at that time. I was married, had the picket fence, dah, dah, dah. We'd get together at our playgroup and complain about our lives and then be like, okay, see you next week. And it was rinse and repeat and she got diagnosed with the colon cancer and ended up passing away. And I was one of her primary caregivers and literally she was in hospice and just looked up at me and said, Susie, don't do this. Why are you waiting to live the life you want to be living? And I just, yeah, and it wasn't just one conversation, it was over and over. She was such a beacon of inspiration. She actually divorced her husband when she had four months left to live. And she's like, I'm not going out with this. So there was a lot I know wonderful. Shania is her name a lot that she left me and inspired me to do.

(09:39):
And that really was a moment when I started to look around and get the nerve to give myself permission to live a life that I wanted to be living that was more in alignment with what Susie wanted. And at that point, I really frankly didn't know what I wanted, but there was a inner restlessness. To me. It was like this whisper of, not this, not this. And so I started to push against and get up the nerve to speak up and speak to my husband and speak to my biological parents. And as happens, nobody liked that. So literally I burnt the ship down.

(10:24):
It really was one of those moments, I don't know if you're listeners are aware of crabs in the bucket, if one crab is trying to get out and live and sees outside of the bucket and it's like, come on crabby, we can do it. The other crabs, instead of supporting that crab to get out of the bucket, they literally take that crab and bring him back and try to tear him or her, in my case, to shreds instead of letting that crab out. And that is pretty much the experience of my biological family and in me deciding ultimately to get a divorce from my first husband. My dad supported my ex's divorce lawyer. My dad's a very wealthy man. So he also turned, I was living in the state of Virginia at the time, which the woman is still the possession of the husband.

(11:10):
And so the way it happened, I'm like, yeah, there's that. I had some premarital earnings that in my youth naivety, however you say that word, I, before things were online, there was a paper document of it was Merrill Lynch at the time, and it showed my maiden name and that those earnings were in my name. But I was like, oh no, I'm going to be that people pleaser and let's make this a joint account with my now x. Signed it all over so that both of us were on there. And then when the divorce came through, I needed that piece of paper that showed my maiden name was the original owner, and my dad on a FaceTime with me shredded that document, which ultimately gave all my $476,000 to my ex, not divided between me and my ex because I was in the state of Virginia, all of it to my ex, which left me basically bankrupt. I did a podcast episode on my show called Bankrupt in the Basement because I had to live in the unfinished basement of my house as a woman. I had to live for a year in the separation agreement. If I left, it would be called abandonment and I would lose rights to my kids. And if I left with my kids, I would be accused of kidnapping. So I lived for a year bankrupt in the, yeah. So there's that part of my story.

Susan Hyatt (12:35):
Listen, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, okay, I got to back up here. I'm

Susie Pettit (12:41):
Laughing now, but I spent a lot of days crying.

Susan Hyatt (12:44):
Yeah, so in the state of Virginia, and I think there are other states too in the south, particularly where the wife is considered the property of the husband or was. And so the crabs in a pot, I have talked about it. Same thing, lobsters in a pot where who do you think you are getting out of this hot boiling wire? You're going to come back down here with the rest of us and follow these rules.

Susie Pettit (13:15):
You're happy enough? I kept being told,

Susan Hyatt (13:17):
You're happy enough.

Susie Pettit (13:19):
My dad said, stop reading and stop listening to those podcasts.

Susan Hyatt (13:24):
Oh my gosh, let me tell you something, Susie. I always joke that husbands either love me or hate me because me too, the husbands who really, really want the best for their wives and are men with integrity tend to really enjoy if their wives spend time with me. And the ones who don't like it, don't like it because their lives are going to change because what they're doing is either emotional or financial abuse or worse. And so your father thought you were happy enough and sided with your ex and shredded proof that that money was yours. So you were bankrupt in the basement

Susie Pettit (14:12):
And

Susan Hyatt (14:14):
Go

Susie Pettit (14:14):
Ahead and then paid for my ex's divorce lawyer. So I had think $12,000 to my name and my dad is a multimillionaire. So I was like, okay, then I'll be living in the basement.

Susan Hyatt (14:27):
And so when your friend passed away and on her death bed pleaded with you to not do what she did, get out, don't live this life that doesn't suit you. Did you file for divorce? How long after that conversation,

Susie Pettit (14:44):
She was sort of like that things were brewing because we were getting together and complaining about our husbands and complaining. We were very much in this place of being. And things were, I think of it as there was this inner, an inner knowing, but an inner rumbling, but hadn't yet. I wasn't yet. I just thought, this is what we did. This is what was modeled for me. This is what was modeled for me in my parents' marriage. This is what a lot of my friends, they're like, oh, this is fine. We're just sleeping in separate bedrooms. Isn't this what marriage is? And when she passed, it was almost like I was wearing those dark wraparound sunglasses and she took them off for me. And so I started just making changes and one of the first things is let's try therapy. And so it was multiple years from when, and I think that's what's important for listeners to know.

(15:38):
It wasn't just overnight. I was like, okay, now I'm this brave, courageous crab crawling out of the bucket. No. I was like, okay, first step, let's ask to go to a marriage therapist and second step, there were many steps along the way, and yet it was like once I had those glasses off, I couldn't put them back on. I tried when my dad, I thought I was going to get support from my parents and I thought I was going to get support from my sisters. And when that was not the case and for my friends, and it really was this like, wait a minute, you're not playing according to the rules, literally that you have such nerve. What are you thinking? This is the script that we are given. This is how we do it. You are happy enough, it's good enough. And it's like, head down, girl, just do what you're supposed to do. So it was multiple years of me working through this before I got to the basement and actually physical symptoms that some of us will have autoimmune disorders, sort of being like, this is so weird. Why is this happening? It's like, oh, your body is under incredible stress. You're not living a life that's in alignment with what you're here to do. So

Susan Hyatt (16:54):
Well, I'm glad that you brought that up because the cost of not living the right life is often not documented thoroughly. And part of that are physical changes to our health. And there was an article, I think it was Time Magazine. Oh,

Susie Pettit (17:15):
I was going to say time self silencing. I was like, yes.

Susan Hyatt (17:19):
And I thought, wow, self silencing is literally making women sick. And 90% of autoimmune disorders are women have them because we're choking down inequality and abuse and just unhappiness. It's our full-time job.

Susie Pettit (17:39):
Yeah, yeah. It's autoimmune disorders. It was depression, it's actually heart attack. I mean, that article was super telling and just that it actually does impact our physical system. I mean, that's what ended up ultimately me making the move from the master bedroom down to the basement is I was a very healthy person. I actually taught a group fitness class outside exterior. I held it together. I was the perfect little vision of that Stepford wife, like oh. And inside was having this turmoil. And on a Thursday I found out that my dad was supporting my ex's divorce attorney, and from Thursday until Monday, I had 32 seizures and ended up in the er, totally healthy. The doctors are like, what is going on? Everything's together. And luckily a doctor was in the ER visiting from Johns Hopkins who had just completed a study showing that soldiers returning for more and women in high custody cases could have this.

(18:51):
What I was having, and actually my original company Strength Mind and Body originated from that because I was like, I think the mind and body are connected, but we're so quick to discount that because we have to, if we're not going to crawl out of the bucket, we have to play along and shove it down and put the smile on. And one of the things I say is fine. We're like, oh, it's fine. And fine is an acronym for feelings inside needing expression. Because fine for me, I'd be like, I'm fine. And I slammed the cabinet door and I'm fine, and I go shove a cake in my mouth. I'm not fine. I'm anything but fine. And that was the message I was getting is You're fine enough, you're happy enough.

Susan Hyatt (19:38):
Well, wow, my gosh, this story is so layered and so rich, and I know there are women listening to this who are considering going to the basement or getting out. So how long did it take to get your divorce? Can

Susie Pettit (19:58):
I just say to that woman who's listening or the person who's listening who might want to make changes is my story can be pretty extreme. And there is a lot of gray in between there that sometimes we do speak up and we do say, Hey husband, let's go to the marriage therapist. Or Hey, mom and dad, I'm thinking of ending this marriage. I mean, I'd say most of the time, and you don't get met with this massive resistance and sort of the burning down of the ships, you get met with some resistance because you're sort of changing the way you guys have done things. But ultimately the women I see and that I'm working with, they do the scary, the little scary move. And then people will come back, maybe not the marriage, but ultimately it doesn't end in this literal burning down. And then, oh, so my encouragement to them is just take the first step. Don't get too far into the future and don't think like, oh my gosh, what does this mean? Just get the book, listen to the podcast, ask to go to the marriage therapist, whatever small step your nervous system can handle, do that instead of continuing to shove it down and going back into the bucket with the crops because that's not helping our nervous system, as you said with the time article. Sorry, I just wanted to say that because I'm like, just do something ladies. You can do it.

Susan Hyatt (21:13):
Yeah, well, you absolutely can. And just consider that on the other side of that, even though the road might be difficult and scary and uncertain that the light at the end of the tunnel. So my question for you is, so your friend, you have this dramatic deathbed conversation and you start making moves to make changes. And what was it that you told yourself or what was it that helped you stay the course of seeing your freedom through?

Susie Pettit (22:01):
It just wasn't a choice for me anymore, if that's even explainable. I feel like as long as I can remember, I had a restlessness in me that it was almost like a buzzing and I want more. And I was consistently told, no, no, no. And I just fell in line whether I was eight and I wanted the chocolate chip cookie and my mom said, no, just have the oatmeal raisin or whether I was 14 and didn't want that boy to touch my butt. But my friend said, no, it's fine to touch. And it was just this inner restlessness. And when I had this experience with my friend, it was finally permission to just stop. Why are you living for all these other people? What do you want? I mean, I really view it as part of the heroin's journey. I called the listeners of my podcast Warriors with an A, and I talk about it as being like my inner warrior woke up and started. It was like she was tapping and then she was throwing little pebbles and she literally took a block and was like, happy couple,

Susan Hyatt (23:05):
Yes, there you

Susie Pettit (23:06):
Go, right? And it's like answer the call warriors, answer it, because it might be hard to hear what I went through and believe me with what I'm about to say, but I wouldn't have done it any other way. All of those things, living in the basement, being deathly afraid that I was going to lose my children and lose rights to see my three boys that were my, I was a stay-at-home mom. That was my identity. Losing all my money, losing relationships with my biological parents. All of that has made it so that I am living a life that is thriving and vibrant and happier than I ever could have imagined, happier than anything when I was sitting in my friend's bedroom when she was in hospice. I mean, this is wilder than my wildest dreams, and it is all possible. And yet we don't know.

(24:03):
There's another study where flies were in a mason jar and they put Saran wrap on the top, and the flies are just trying to get, and for a while they're hitting the top, and then they ultimately decide to just fly around or whatever, and they show that when the saran wrap is removed, the flies still fly around. They don't try to get out anymore. And what is fascinating about this study is they've even done it that the offspring of those flies, so the little babies of those flies when no interaction from their parents, when they are put in a mason chart, they don't even try to fly out. So I feel like that was me. I was just modeling what my parents, and so you look and maybe one of those little flies one day looks up and is like, I see the sky. And they're like, don't look up. But what we don't know and what we know as humans is that little fly that's in the jar, it's like you don't even know how good it can get. It feels safe in here with all your little fly buddies, but you fly out, it's like, oh my God, the flowers, the food, you can sit on the future. It's like, we can't even imagine.

Susan Hyatt (25:09):
Listen, Susie, you're making me tear up

Susie Pettit (25:13):
Because I'm telling you good sandwiches to sit on.

Susan Hyatt (25:18):
I mean, the flies children,

Susie Pettit (25:21):
They don't even know and they don't even try. And that's what we're doing in our system. And that was ultimately Susan. So that was my friend sitting there and telling me this. And I hit roadblock after roadblock with, I mean, we went to four marriage counselors and our final one quit us. He was like, we're done here. And it ultimately was looking at my children and seeing, is this the marriage I want to model for them? Is this what I want for them? And me saying, oh hell no. And that really was a moment where I was like, I'm out. Stop. There is no turning back. I'm not going to raise those little flies.

Susan Hyatt (26:02):
I tell you what I sometimes think about, somebody said to me the other day, I live in a small to medium size Midwestern town, and I travel a lot and on purpose because I want to. And when my children were small, I remember there were two things that I felt at that time. I was for a few years, like you a stay at home mom when they were babies. But then I went back into the workforce as a residential real estate agent, and then in oh seven started this company. But when they were really little and I felt pretty inadequate as a parent, the two things I vowed, I was like, they're going to love to read. I'm going to make sure that I read to them, that supply them with lots of books. I really want little readers. And also that they understand that there is a whole big world out there.

(27:09):
I'm going to show them the world. And I did those things. And now they live one lives in Brooklyn and one lives in Chicago where you're from. And somebody said to me the other day, aren't you sad that your children both moved away to big cities? And I'm like, that was my expectation. I wasn't like, you must, but it was sort of like I knew if I showed them lots of things in the world that there were other ways of living and being that they would at least have the option know that they had the option to do whatever they want, and they're 23 and 25, who knows what they're going to end up ultimately doing or where they'll land. But I think, oh,

Susie Pettit (27:57):
But you're like fly little, fly, fly. Yes. There's

Susan Hyatt (28:01):
No Sara

Susie Pettit (28:02):
Wrap. I, yeah, expanding the window of possibility, because literally when I look back, I have to have a lot of compassion for myself. I'm like, why did you stay in that marriage for 24 years? Mean the relationship was 24 years long, and it is because I didn't know any better. I didn't have that. It's literally I was just in that bottom. The Saran wrap was on and I was looking down and I didn't know any better. And once I started, my ex was very restrictive too. I allowed myself to be restricted. That was sort of the household I came up in. Like dad's rules mattered. So if he told me, you shouldn't go out with this group of friends or you can't do that, I was very much, it's almost like I was in a little cult of I don't know what. But at some point I sort of pushed past that and then started teaching this exercise class.

(28:52):
And that's where I would listen to these women talking about their relationships so different than my neighborhood and my little Petri dish of marriages that I was witnessing. I would listen to them and I was like, oh, their husbands don't tell them not to wear button down shirts or, oh, their husbands don't tell them they can't go out for coffee with those people. And I started to expand that window of possibility, which is a great segue for where I am now with my sons, because I really just found it very important to show that wide lens of what is possible for them, that it's not just what they're seeing in their small, I raised them in Arlington, Virginia, which is a small, I guess, I don't know, small is relative, but a suburb of Washington. And it's like, no, there is a lot more out there.

Susan Hyatt (29:46):
Yeah, there's no saran ramp.

Susie Pettit (29:49):
There's no saran ramp,

Susan Hyatt (29:51):
Fly fly. And so once you got up the nerve to say you wanted to work on the marriage, then say you wanted to end the marriage, then face your husband soon to be ex and your father and you lived in the basement and were essentially broke, what was your next move in terms of advocating for yourself, establishing your freedom? What happened next?

Susie Pettit (30:23):
Yeah, there was a part of Susie that just at that point, she was just this wild, she couldn't be held back. And so what happened next is I got into my own life coaching business. Part of the divorce decree was that I should go back to the profession that I had before I was married, which was a high school French teacher, which I was like, no, but that's what my support was based on a $32,000 a year salary. So I think my ex was, my spousal support I think was $1,000. So it made no sense for me to be like, I'm going to start my life coaching business from scratch. But I did, and I just put my fricking head down and I moved my boys the most of, we were able to get 50 50 custody. I could not get more because of the situations I told you about, but I moved into a rental, which was challenging in itself.

(31:16):
Again, it's so interesting how women are held back since I was a woman without salaried job, without the W2, they wouldn't give it to me. And I had to ask, I had to find another man to sign the lease with me. My dad wouldn't do it. My ex obviously went and I ended up getting one of the dads, I still am so gracious for this man named Doug who came, and I think I had met him twice, and he was like, oh, hell no, I am signing that lease with you. And he came over and signed and gave all his financials so I could move into this. It was a dump of a rental, but I have such fond memories of it. So that's how I got started with my boys. And I really put my head down. I'd say for two years there was no part of me that was female in terms of sexual looking for a relationship.

(32:07):
It was just like if, and I think my kids did ask me, are you ever going to get married again? I was like, oh, heck no. And my focus was on raising those boys and beginning my business and just trying to make money to buy chicken to put on the table. And I did that and was persistent and I, I had nerve. I did that. And then it was probably three years from when my divorce was, I decided I was going to start. It was something that I was in my self-help journey and loving Susie and coming to peace with my path and all that stuff that people know from your work. And I decided for my birthday, which was in October, I was going to start meditating one minute a day and for a year and see what that did. And I started using an Insight Timer app, which is a meditation app.

(33:00):
And so February of 2016, I was doing a sleeping meditation and left a review on that sleeping app and said, great, something like, I love this meditation. And then three nights later looked at, went to use that meditation again and saw that someone had left a review on my review, a comment on my review, and it said, Hey, Susie, if you like this one by Bethany whatever, you'll also like this one. And he signed his name, Paul from Walling Gong. So imagine this, I'm living outside of dc. I'm trying to raise my three boys. I'm very security conscious, whatever. And I get this message Paul from, I'm like, what did he make up a town? I'm very used to the security in DC with everyone being like, oh, yeah, my name is Jimmy and it's not. And I'm like, okay, Paul from Wandong, thanks for the recommendation. And I did say that. And then we started talking, and long story short, that is now my husband. What? Yes. We started going back and forth and then just having connections. And then, I mean, we must've done wonders for that woman's meditation algorithm because at some point we were, at some point I was like, Hey, are you over 16?

(34:18):
And I guess I didn't mention, I had started dating in right around October of 2015 too. And it's so ironic because right before I started interacting with Paul on Insight Timer, I had broken up with a man because he lived too far away from me. I lived in Arlington and he lived in Vienna, which is like 20 minutes away. I was

Susan Hyatt (34:41):
Going to say, that's not, isn't that hilarious? And you find out this man lives across the world. I'm

Susie Pettit (34:47):
Like, sure, I'll come over. I mean, that's how I'm like, oh, it's not the distance, Susie. That's how when you're just like, oh, come on. So yeah, I mean, that is how we met. My husband actually wrote a book, 9,756 Miles to Happiness because we measured it. We literally were on opposite sides of the world. And so we did sort of the back, and at the first, at some point, it was probably around April, he was like, Hey, do you want to come over and visit? And that's the next pivot moment of my life when I got up Nerve and was like, okay, why not? And to sort of full circle all of this, I promise you that if my dad had not taken all of that money of mine and given it to my ex, I would not have done that because I was a super saver in my life.

(35:41):
I was always saving for the rainy day. And I was always like, oh, okay. No, I won't buy that coffee. I can put this money. I was just always save, save, save, save. And when my dad gave away all that money, I really, and my friend dying, I was like, what the hell am I waiting for? What am I saving this stuff for? And so when Paul asked me to come to Australia and I'm still trying to get chicken on the table for my boys, I was like, let's make this happen. Sure. I never would've done that. That's why I'm saying all these experiences that we have add up to where we are, and I never would've done that. I never would be where I am today if I hadn't had some of that hardship and some of that like, wait a minute, what good is that money in the bank? What kind of life do you want to be living? Let's do that.

Susan Hyatt (36:30):
Amazing. I often think about the quote, if people want to, they will. Right? Period. Right? If they want to, they will. If you are interested in Paul, you're going to go to Australia, but if you're not interested in Eric, who lives 20 minutes away, I'm

Susie Pettit (36:53):
Kidding. I know you're not

Susan Hyatt (36:55):
Going make up some

Susie Pettit (36:56):
Excuse.

Susan Hyatt (36:57):
And so it's sort of like if people want to, they will. And the gifts of it's always so hard when you're going through a traumatic, horrible situation to believe that one day you might be grateful for it. And what an amazing life to be able to look back and go, oh, my dad did that and it was horrible at the time, but if he hadn't done that, I wouldn't be here with the love of my life.

Susie Pettit (37:30):
Well, and another thing for listeners to just hold on to with this, if they want to, they will, is if you have the dream or that inner rumbling, you have opportunities, you have the resources to get to those. It is only pretty much ourselves standing in our own way. It is that slow down, listen to that, get the support from a coach or free podcast or to try to do this thing and another piece of that. So if you have the rumbling, you have the way, we don't know the whole way yet. We just need to take that small step without getting overly anxious. I've had a lot of anxiety over my life, and I am well aware with that. That's the one piece. The other piece is just this belief and holding lightly your dream and what that looks like. Because definitely when I was in the basement, I had this like, oh no, not this.

(38:30):
And I knew that there was better for me. Did I know that I would living in a fulfilled, supportive marriage with sons who were just so supportive of me and just such abundance as I am now, no, this never, this is beyond my greatest dreams. I never could have put this into words, and I've found this in many different times. You have that dream very, maybe a more concrete example for listeners is I always wanted a home office. And we once went through this with your background and real you. We went to this open house and there was this standalone garage with an office, and this was in Arlington. And I was like, I thought in my head I was like, that's what I want. I want to make the money, buy that house, have that whatever. And I would just do my meditations and my manifestations, imagining myself in this office and what it would be like to come home from lunch and just sort of that type of place.

(39:26):
And then this new rental came on the market with an office, little different, but it was better than it would've been in that standoff garage. And so it's like you just follow those breadcrumbs that the universe is giving us, still believing, trying to believe in your dream, taking that next step. But I guess what it is is I just didn't hold too tight to, if Paul had said, you want to come over, and I was holding too tight to no, for what? I am not going to marry an Australian. I didn't get too far ahead. I had three boys living in America. If I had gotten too far in the future, what would that look like? I can't leave my boys in America. No, that's going to stop me. And I, trust me, I am a planner and I used to be a worry wort. And so it's this holding it lightly. The opportunity comes tapping in with your inner warrior. Does it feel light? And okay, freaking go do that. Respond to that Paul from made up city wall and zone.

Susan Hyatt (40:25):
It's

Susie Pettit (40:27):
Break up with the dude who on paper looks really good but isn't feeling right to you. And just take that next step, get the nerve, dare to live the life you're here to live, to listen to that inner warrior feel so damn good. Fly out of that frame. Mason jar, little fly, right?

Susan Hyatt (40:43):
Oh my God. Listen, I'm going to be talking about you and this mason jar of flies forever because I

Susie Pettit (40:52):
Know I love it.

Susan Hyatt (40:52):
It's just such an amazing, first of all, research study and metaphor for what's happening. So Susie, now you are living in Australia running your coaching business. I think your boys are grown. Yeah,

Susie Pettit (41:12):
They're all launched. That's what got me to move over here is my final one. Finished senior year in high school in Arlington, and he went off to college in California, and we went off to the other side of the world. So I have three sons and Paul has two sons. So we now have five sons in our blended family. My middle son actually is ironically at the University of Wollongong now because in this whole journey, I brought them over here a couple times, and I remember one time driving by and being like, and that's the University of Wollongong, Susan. We didn't even step on the campus. And then when we were home in Arlington doing college applications, it was Covid. And he's like, I don't need to do applications. I know where I'm going. And I was like, oh. And he is University of Wollongong. And I was like, okay, you've never been on the campus. But it was that kind of that spark in him where he is like, oh, hell no. This is what I'm flying mom. And I was like, okay, let's do it. And he is. So he's thriving. I have one son who has a full-time job in Charlottesville, Virginia. And then I have another son who's in his second year in San Diego in university. And then, yeah, I mean, it's amazing.

Susan Hyatt (42:23):
Wow. So inspiring. I could talk to you literally all day. I, honest to God, you're just such a ray of sunshine, literally. And we of course, are going to put in the show notes all the ways people can engage with you, but what's your favorite place for people to go first?

Susie Pettit (42:44):
Well, I think people are feeling inspired by this episode. I have a life audit, which it sort of just is like a report card for the life you're living right now and maybe how you're feeling. And that's at my website, SMB well.com/life audit, and then also my podcast. So I'm committed to helping as many women as possible live lives they love. And so my podcast is called The Love Your Life Show, and I have episodes on there every week where I use my background in teaching and brain science and all the stuff that we know to help them live lives they love. And then I run a membership called The Love Your Life School, which is where I help women learn the things that we didn't learn in emotional intelligence, how to set boundaries, how to have that conversation with your biological father or your spouse and have support. And it really is a gym for your mental health. And I love helping specifically, women over 40, moms over 40 really feel lighter and live that life that's in alignment with the life they want to be living. So I guess my podcast and the life audit would be great places to start.

Susan Hyatt (44:02):
Awesome. Yeah. Alright. Well, Susie, thank you so much. You are amazing and I so appreciate your vulnerability and your teaching today. I just feel so happy that I know someone so amazing from the Midwest over there in the Land of Oz.

Susie Pettit (44:22):
Well, and thank you because you've been a beacon and an inspiration for me when I knew you, back when you were still working with Brooke in the weight loss school, and I just, you fly, you have expanded my window of possibility of what's possible for a woman in business that's been, people might be listening and be like, wow, she has nerve. In her personal life, I did not have as much nerve in my business. I had the nerve to get started, but I was raised in a house where my dad said, women don't belong in business. Women aren't good at business. And so I really had a lot of mindset to get over and to keep looking at Susan Hyatt out there, just taking the risk, doing the work, doing the business, and expanding and just, you have been a beacon of light for me. So thank you for that. Helping me fly out of my mason jar of, oh, I can't do business. Shown me that I can.

Susan Hyatt (45:11):
And look, you're doing it.

Susie Pettit (45:13):
Yay. Let's do it.

Susan Hyatt (45:17):
Alright. All right. The Beyond Mastermind, the Business Edition is open for enrollment. So this rendition of Beyond is a high touch pink carpet experience that includes plenty of focus, support, strategy, and coaching. You'll be in great company. Let me tell you the women who have already signed up for this, we have such a fun variety of powerhouses in this group. We have corporate peeps, we have artists, we have coaches, we have CEOs. These incredible women will work alongside you and help you move towards your goals. This Mastermind is perfect for entrepreneurs who want to earn more money and make a greater impact for career professionals seeking promotions, looking to transition to more fulfilling roles or wanting to improve their leadership and women who want to build more wealth to create significant change in the world. So if you're interested, please get in touch. We can set up a quick consult call. You can email megan@susanhyatt.co or support@susanhyatt.co. All right. I hope to see you on the Zoom. Have a great day.

 

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