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The Nerve to Honor Yourself & Celebrate Ft. Amy Stone

On this episode of You’ve Got Nerve, “yours truly” is in the hot seat! I’m spilling all the behind-the-scenes details of my 30-year vow renewal to my friend and client Amy Stone
Amy is a certified life coach through the University for Life Coach Training created by the one and only YOURS TRULY. Amy helps stepparents and adults in blended families create more personal happiness. She is a mom, a stepmom, and a grandma. Her personal journey from single woman to wife, stepmom, and mom pushed her to create a unique path to happiness. Today she shares that method with others who find themselves on a similar journey.

You don’t have to wait for things to be “perfect” or “ready” or “aligned” to celebrate. You don’t need to wait for Prince Charming to whisk you away. Go ahead and book your own damn castle and slip on that crown.

In this episode, we discuss:

In this episode, I’m spilling all the details including:

  • The true story of how I met my husband at the mall and the story of our first date at… wait for it… TGI-Fridays. A true 1990s courtship!
  • Why some people considered me a “child bride.” 
  • How I went from “I am never getting married” to Scott putting a ring on it. 
  • The ways Scott Hyatt turned into “Father of the Bride” during the vow renewal planning.
  • The decision behind hosting our ceremony in Savannah and how I pulled together the event of the year in mere months. 
  • How my thought process changed from my original wedding gown to now.  
  • My favorite moments from the vow renewal ceremony. 
  • Living a life of no regrets by saying “yes.”  

If you have a deep craving to celebrate a milestone in your life but keep putting off your joy, become the woman with the stories, not the regrets, and give this episode a listen.

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If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate, and review it on iTunes or wherever you’re listening. Your reviews help us reach more people who want to get up the “nerve” to create what they crave and become unstoppable. 

HOT ANNOUNCEMENTS

Want to celebrate my 50th year by hiking the Camino de Santiago with me? I’ve got spots for 10 women to come along on this once-in-a-lifetime adventure. No matter your motivation for hiking the Camino, this trip will be a transformative experience with a luxe twist! Don't miss your chance to uncover the enchantment of this ancient path and create memories that will last a lifetime. Claim your spot today, and I’ll see you on the Camino!

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Susan Hyatt (00:00):
Is there something you wish you had the nerve to do? Welcome to, you've Got Nerve, the podcast that teaches you how to conquer your fears, upgrade your mindset, and get up the nerve to go after whatever you want. If you wish you had the guts to go all in on your goals, dreams, and desires, this show is for you. I'm Master certified life coach Susan Hyatt, and I am so excited for you to join me on this journey. Oh, hey. Hey. We have a special episode today where I'm in the hot seat. So my friend and colleague, Amy Stone, read all of my posts about my 30 year vow renewal and suspected there was more to the story. Hint, she was right. Amy's a certified life coach through the University for Life Coach training created by the one and only yours truly. And Amy helps stepparents and adults in blended families create more personal happiness.

(01:03):
She's a mom, a stepmom, and a grandma. Her personal journey from single woman to wife, stepmom, and mom pushed her to create a unique path to happiness. And today she shares that method with others who find themselves on a similar journey. So speaking of journeys, holding it down for 30 years with the Silver Fox was quite the journey. And my vow renewal was a celebration of our love and our challenges, our ups and downs. And I wanted to mark the great times we've had. And all the times I wanted to knock him upside the head. When he chews loudly or dumps more work onto my already full plate, I may have to whip up a post-nuptial agreement y'all. But before this ceremony, my event coordinator said to me, wow, this is the most epic intense thing I've ever heard of. <laugh> never was a statement more true.

(02:01):
My custom gown was the thing. Fairy tales are made of expensive royal fashioned with a cape. Obviously. I wanted this dress to celebrate me, a 50 year old woman who is celebrating her love, her body, her relationship, and her joy. And this was a fabulous gesture, a gift to myself to sit with a designer and discuss my goals with the gown and watch that vision transform into life. We surprised our guests by arriving with an elaborate entrance procession that honored our Irish and Scottish heritage. Though I had the Savannah Pipes and Drums band lead us down the street to Monterey Square where our guests were sitting waiting on us now, they were sitting there listening to a beautiful string quartet play. And then here we come with bagpipes and drums. And I felt like an actual queen at ceremony. Every elegant detail was a symbol of our love, love in my marriage and the love I have for myself to be able to show up, honor and bring to life the vow renewal that I craved.

(03:12):
So I shared and continue to share details of my Vow Renewal celebration because I want more women to honor themselves, their relationships, and their milestones to go all out to show up and show out to do it big. Whatever that means for you. Celebrate whatever you want in whatever fashion you want, so you don't have to wait for things to be perfect or ready or aligned to celebrate. And you certainly don't have to wait for Prince Charming to whisk you away. Just go ahead and book your own damn castle and slip on that crown. So in this episode, I'm spilling all the details, including the true story of how I met my husband at the mall, and the story of our first date at wait for it, t g i, Fridays, a true 1990s courtship and why some people considered me a child bride, and how I went from I am never getting married to Scott, putting a ring on it.

(04:11):
The ways Scott turned into Father of the Bride during the vow renewal planning the decision behind hosting our ceremony in Savannah, and how I pulled together the event of the year in mere months, and how my thought process changed from my original wedding gown to now, and my favorite moments from the Vow renewal ceremony. And living a life of no regrets by saying yes. So if you have a deep craving to celebrate a milestone in your life, but you keep putting off your joy, become the woman with the stories, not the regrets. And give this episode a listen. Okay, everybody, I have one of my certified coaches here, Amy Stone, and Amy is gonna be interviewing me today. And, uh, we're gonna be talking about, what are we talking about? My 30 year vow renewal.

Amy Stone (05:09):
That's right, that's right in this twist. You are the guest. Hi, meaning,

Susan Hyatt (05:14):
Come on. I just told Amy before I started the recording, I'm like, I'm so lucky today I have somebody who's gonna Oprah meet

Amy Stone (05:22):
<laugh>. That's right. Welcome Susan Hyatt to your very own podcast. How does that feel?

Susan Hyatt (05:27):
It feels pretty fabulous.

Amy Stone (05:29):
<laugh>. All right. So today we are gonna talk about something that you had the nerve to get up to do, right? Yeah. Are you ready to dish some of the details

Susan Hyatt (05:39):
I'm gonna dish? Yes,

Amy Stone (05:41):
Ma'am. All right, let's do it. All right. So you did something big and bold, which was throw yourself a big party for your 30th anniversary, vow renewal. And you shared really openly on your social media channels and with those of us who are in your group. Um, a lot of the details, but as I was watching it unfold, I was like, Ooh, I think there's more to this. And I suspect that other people like me totally would love to have some of the backstory,

Susan Hyatt (06:11):
Right? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Amy Stone (06:14):
All right, so we're gonna start with a softball question. Who is the Silver Fox and how did you guys

Susan Hyatt (06:20):
Meet? Uh, so the Silver Fox is Scott Anthony Hyatt, and we met right after my 18th birthday. Um, I literally went into the Savannah Mall office to apply for a job at the customer service booth. And there was this really cute guy in there, um, who was, uh, leaning over the credenza <laugh> in the lobby, and I noticed this cute butt. Um, but, uh, I had a seat and waited to interview with his boss. Little did I know, he, um, was finishing out his last two weeks at that job. He was a property manager at Savannah Mall and was, had accepted a position, um, in Hilton Head, which is only about 45 minutes away. Anyway, I'm sitting in there very nervous for my interview to be a customer service booth rep out in the mall. Remember those, like when you go to the mall, there's an info booth, that's the part-time job I was interviewing, uh, for.

(07:31):
And, um, he was flirting with me. He sat down next to me and was sort of just making small talk and I was really nervous, and I was sort of like, who is this guy? Like, leave me alone. I was like, step away, sir. <laugh>. Um, so I did not get the job and was pretty mad about it. And then the person that they had hired broke her leg and could not fulfill her <laugh> customer service booth duties. Like she declined the job. So I was the runner up and, um, took the job. And then every Friday night, Scott Hyatt was in the mall.

Amy Stone (08:19):
Wow.

Susan Hyatt (08:20):
And I, he would come by the customer service booth and flirt with me. And I was like, don't you live in Hilton Head? Are you a stalker? Um, and at the time I had my boyfriend's class ring on my, uh, index finger. Remember when you would wear cla? Maybe not everybody wore class rings, but w if you wore your boyfriend's class ring and it was too large for your finger, you would put like masking tape around it, or like yarn, I had like masking taped so it would fit. And he over the customer service booth counter and like tugged on it. And he goes, when are you gonna get rid of that? And I was like, clutch my pearls, because I was, you know, a very loyal girlfriend up until that moment <laugh>. That's

Amy Stone (09:13):
So interesting.

Susan Hyatt (09:15):
Anyway, we met at the mall and he finally convinced me to go down to T G I Fridays and split appetizers.

Amy Stone (09:24):
Oh my goodness. So you and I are roughly the same age. So this is a love affair of the like nineties, eighties, or nineties.

Susan Hyatt (09:31):
This was 1991. Yeah,

Amy Stone (09:33):
There you go. There you go. When we would go to the mall before there was when to see somebody, you would see them in person. There was no social media yet. This was the courting of the, the nineties. So that is a great story. I absolutely love it. So, and I love the visual of you wearing somebody else's high school ring. I don't know if they still do that. I don't even know if that's still a thing. That's so interesting.

Susan Hyatt (09:54):
I don't, I don't know if it's a thing either, because when my kids went through high school, they really didn't care about getting class rings.

Amy Stone (10:02):
Yeah. Like one of my kids does have one from a sport, but I they don't ever wear it like an only one of the four, I think. Yeah. So, all right. So every once in a while you'll be telling a story and you'll refer to yourself as a, a child bride. So what's that all about?

Susan Hyatt (10:17):
Well, so I was 19. So we met when I was 18. We dated a year. We were engaged just shy of a year. And so I was 19 when I actually said I do. And so in my mind, a 19 year old is a child. Um, and so it, uh, I was a feminist then. I'm a feminist now, but you know, in 1993 when we got married, um, if you are a women's studies minor, people look at you a little sideways when you say you're getting married that young.

Amy Stone (10:58):
But I think that that's a valid point. I know that people do struggle with that when they make traditional decisions, but see themselves as a feminist. I battled with that when I decided to not go back to work outside the home mm-hmm. <affirmative> and, um, and was like, no, no, I get to choose. Yeah, that's my feminist thing. You got to choose that you were gonna get married at 19. You were making the decision. When you think back to your first wedding, um, at 19, and you were a feminist and you were, um, you were going to school, I guess at that point, you hadn't graduated as a women's studies major at 19, unless you were super fast, which I wouldn't put past you, but that was my guess with the math. What were some of the things that you loved about that first wedding?

Susan Hyatt (11:41):
Oh, you know, I, I do love some tradition. Um, and so I

Amy Stone (11:47):
Hadn't noticed,

Susan Hyatt (11:49):
Yes, so I'm not a religious person, but I grew up in the Catholic faith. And so I loved getting married in the cathedral. Not for the re uh, for the religious aspect of it, but for the tradition aspect of it. It's a beautiful, um, cathedral. Um, I loved, um, the party that we had. Uh, one of my best friends from high school, her name is Theresa Wynn, or was Theresa Wynn, and her mother was a chef and she had a restaurant, um, in the East Bay. And so I loved that a lot of my friends from high school came that the reception was at my best friend's mom's restaurant. Um, I loved, it was fun for me that people came from Indiana, like all of Scott's parents' friends came. Um, and it was, I mean, it was a really great fun reception. And, um, and I love, I did love my dress, so yeah.

Amy Stone (13:00):
Oh, very good. Now, were you a young girl? Did you dream about a wedding with a white dress when you were really small? Would you say that this was something you thought about? No. Okay.

Susan Hyatt (13:07):
No, not at all. That was what was so funny and like, sort of shocking to my family was that, um, when I played with my Barbies, I grew up watching soaps with my grandma and, uh, she hooked me onto hot tea. So we would have hot tea toast and watch like young and the restless. And so my plot lines for my Barbies were not about happily ever after. My, my storylines were about like, you know, murder and drama. And so I wasn't ever like, oh, you know, I can't wait to get married. In fact, I wa was one to say I was never getting married. So it was a huge turnabout, um, in my, uh, life. Yeah,

Amy Stone (13:55):
That is really interesting. I talked to a shocking number of people who switched rapidly from I'm never getting married to, oh look Anne, I'm married. But, um, so that, that part is I think, a common part of many people's story, even though I don't think we expect that when we're teenagers or in our twenties. All right, so you get married, you're building a life, you have a wonderful family. These are things that um, are big parts of your public persona and you live a very public life. You know, a lot of parts of the family, um, are really, really public. When did you guys first, or I don't know if it was you guys, let's say you, I don't know how much Scott was involved in this process. When did you begin to think about having a vow renewal?

Susan Hyatt (14:34):
Oh, you know, I started thinking about it at 20 years. Um, I started saying like, maybe we should do, like for our 25th, maybe we should do a vow renewal. And it's just, you know, life is busy and kids and all those things. I just kept thinking that would be a really cool idea. And Scott was like, yeah, you know? Okay. Um, and then for our 25th, I remember being like, man, I wish we had planned a vow renewal. Well, Scott planned for our 25th, um, not a vow renewal, but, uh, we, us and the kids went back to Savannah for our 25th anniversary and we did like a tour. Like we took them to Savannah Mall to like where we met and we took them to, uh, not many people know this story, Amy, that we have been married twice.

Amy Stone (15:32):
Okay, let's hear

Susan Hyatt (15:33):
It. So we, um, while we were engaged, um, Scott got a job opportunity outside of Washington DC and they wanted him, I think in April. Yeah, in April. Cuz that's, that's when we got, we got married at the Justice of the Peace in April. Um, and my very southern patriarchal father was like, she is not leaving the state of Georgia unless she is married. Like, I don't know who you two think you are, but you're not going anywhere. Like he, I was like, I'm going and we'll just come back for the wedding in August. And my father was like, you're going nowhere now. I was still young enough to like listen somewhat like, so I was like, cool. So we went to the Justice of the Peace and was like, solve that. My mother was like, oh my God, <laugh>. So anyway, we took,

Amy Stone (16:32):
This is the most Susan story ever. It's like, okay, fine, I'll do that. What do I need to do? Get out the checklist, justice of the peace. Met your obligation, met your objections. Off I go

Susan Hyatt (16:43):
<laugh>. Exactly. Uh, rebellious, but also compliant in some ways. So we, uh, so we took the kids like to the mall. We took the kids to the, uh, South Carolina across the border where we had our quickie, uh, vows. We took our kids like where we had our first date, which was in Hilton Head. And um, w we had the whole family meet us there for dinner and, you know, it was a big whoopty do in in that way, but I still was saying like, okay, for our 30th, I think we should do a vow renewal. And then, um, you know, I am someone who talks about celebrating everything and you know, making the moments matter and really honoring yourself and your relationships. And, um, you know, from 2020 until now, it, I, all of us in the family have felt like it's been like thing after, after thing. And I was like, you know what? We're going to do this up big. Okay. Um, and so Scott was like, well, he was like, well, how much he was like father of the bride, the movie Steve Martin's character, but he's also the groom. He is not the father. He was like,

Amy Stone (18:08):
Well, every

Susan Hyatt (18:09):
Time the headcount grew or he would be like, every time you talk about this, I just see dollar signs flying out of your mouth. I was like, correct and you're gonna love it. <laugh>.

Amy Stone (18:20):
No, I, as you said that you said, we're gonna do this that big. And I thought, oh, that has a whole different meaning, you know, that coming outta your mouth than it might coming out of, you know, somebody else's, you know, somebody else's expressions. Because I mean, cuz you are a person who does do things very, very big. And um, but I will say that I was, uh, I I was, it was so much fun to watch you do this. So today the version of you that I see, that I know that I've gotten to know is definitely a person who is like a go-getter and makes things happens. And it sounds like you were like that even when you were 19. But did you have, you know, for this, for the benefit of the listeners who were encouraging to get out there and do things, you know, with nerve that take nerve, did you have any fears or apprehensions as you were coming up and doing this, telling people your ideas and stuff like that? Talk a little bit about that.

Susan Hyatt (19:12):
For the vow renewal you mean?

Amy Stone (19:13):
Yeah, for the vow renewal.

Susan Hyatt (19:15):
So originally, so there, there were some things that I had to, to kind of process in my own mind. So, so originally I was like, let's do it in Ireland, let's do like a destination thing. And it became pretty obvious that if we did it in Ireland, um, it would be us, my friends Rachel and Robert, um, Francis, I mean there would be a handful of people that could do something like that. And Scott was like, you know, if you want your children there, they're, they're both gonna have new jobs, right? And they're both, we just knew that like it was not gonna work out for most people to take 10 days and go to Ireland and, you know, spend that kind of money to go attend something like that. Um, and I realized that one of the reasons I wanted to do it that way was to not have to deal with certain family members, um, who are <laugh>, who, who would come otherwise, I'm just gonna leave it at that.

(20:32):
And so you got it. Okay. I have to like deal with that, um, and not try to like run away to another country and do it just to avoid conflict. And so, um, we decided to do it in Savannah, my sister and my mom. Well, okay, wait, I left out a step. So then I'm like, fuck everybody, let's just go to bam. Let's just have it be me and you. That's it. And Scott loved that idea. Scott was like perfect, um, because it would've been a lot cheaper <laugh>. And so I'm like, I have this gown under construction, but we can get pictures like in Banff. It'll be beautiful and we'll hike and we'll just do our own thing. So I tell my friends, Rachel and Robert this idea, and they were like, you are out your goddamn mind. No manam. They were like, you are not not showing that gown to everyone.

(21:31):
You are coming. Uh, they just had a fit. And I just kind of ignored them a little bit about it. And then my sister and my mom called me together and peer pressured me, <laugh> sister and mom pressured me to do it in Savannah. They were like, do it here. This is where you originally got married, you know, blah blah. So I said to Scott, listen, everyone is having a cow and maybe we should do it in Savannah. And so we, we agreed to do that and once I made that decision that it was for sure gonna happen in Savannah. I mean this was February when we landed on Savannah. Um, then I'm like, okay, then I got into event production mode and um,

Amy Stone (22:22):
Oh my God. God, that's fast.

Susan Hyatt (22:24):
It is very fast.

Amy Stone (22:25):
That is very fast.

Susan Hyatt (22:27):
Let me tell you something. Rachel goes, I don't even understand. She goes, you just whipped up this, you know, wedding of the year in your free time. And I'm like, I could do an event in my sleep. I really can. So,

Amy Stone (22:40):
I mean, yeah, I believe you. I have a lot of faith in you. So I like, it's so interesting that this, uh, that you changed, uh, the agenda of this to bec to accommodate like the other people in your family. Cuz I think that that's a weird thing about weddings, right? Like, which I remember from my own wedding. I recently was, um, my stepson got married last year. It's like that amazing thing. It's like, you think it's an event for you mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And then you very quickly discover that so many other people in your family have like really strong opinions about what you're gonna do for your party. So I think that's really interesting. So you started, you were gonna plan in Ireland, you still have a trip planned to Ireland. Yes. Then you guys were gonna go to Bam. Yes. Um, did you plan a backup trip to Banff when that guy canceled?

Susan Hyatt (23:24):
Well, we have been trying to get to bam literally since pre Covid. Yeah. Like we were supposed to go to Bam when Covid hit. It was a gift that I gave to Scott for Father's Day right before Covid.

Amy Stone (23:37):
He's been patiently waiting for his trip

Susan Hyatt (23:39):
To county and he's been and he's been patiently waiting.

Amy Stone (23:41):
Yes. It seems like, it seems like a contrary to Scott's personality to patiently wait, <laugh>.

Susan Hyatt (23:46):
He actually is pretty patient with me.

Amy Stone (23:49):
That's okay. I get that. I get that. All right. So it's February you are planning this event on fast forward, but you've conceded you've worked with the family, compromised, you've magically worked your magic within your family. You're throwing this big party. I mean, did you get, as you got this, like let's talk about some of the like very special things that you were planning that are maybe a little bit over the top exceptional that you did for this wedding. Right? So you did not go to David Bridle and purchase a matronly gown for your 30th vow renewal. What, what did you do, Susan? And did you get any pushback from like strangers or people who you know are in your family about the, the over the top elements that you put together?

Susan Hyatt (24:31):
Oh, for sure. So, and, and pushback from Scott, Anthony Hyatt <laugh>. He's like, what? He's like, don't you would've brought that down, you got in Morocco, that's perfect. He's like, what don't you have? He would go up, I have racks rolling racks of wardrobe. And he would be like, you can't tell me there's nothing here. And I'm like, sir, shut up, <laugh>, shut the hell up. No, uh, I deserve an amazing gown. And so I kept like what it was gonna look like from him. He had no idea. He just knew that Caitlin, her name is Caitlin Watson, she runs a company here called Caitlin's Alterations. And she has made some other dresses for me over the years, but this of course takes the cake. And so I was like, you know, yeah, I did not go to David's Bridal. Um, I decided that I wanted something really me. And um, just over the top I wanted everything to be over the top.

Amy Stone (25:36):
You wanted everything to be over the top. So what were some of the things, cuz you put a, you're a very self-actualized person in my, the way I see you. What were some of the things that you wanted to represent through this dress and through the outfit and through how you presented at this wedding that showed up in this gown?

Susan Hyatt (25:52):
Oh wow. So I wanted, I wanted the dress to be royal. Um, so there's a cake. Um, I ins I was like, I need a cake, <laugh> <laugh>. And I wanted it to be, um, what I said to Caitlin was like, it needs to be a statement. You know, that like this, I'm not this like pure, you know, the wedding dress from a feminist perspective. I mean, we could really talk about like purity and white and all that bullshit. And I'm like, no, no, no, I want this to be like, this is a 50 year old woman who is celebratory her herself, her body, the relationship, all of it. Um, and so she, she created a sketch and she, she was like, okay, so the baddest is gonna have leather, pleaded leather. And um, I think there were 18 different shades and sizes of Swarovski crystals on the other side of the bodice. And um, it just was, um, it just was expensive and royal <laugh>

Amy Stone (27:19):
Expensive and royal and it sounds shiny and sparkly.

Susan Hyatt (27:25):
Yes, yes.

Amy Stone (27:26):
Yeah. No, that's amazing. So your goal was royal and to show up and step into this and did, um, I mean, does everybody in the world, like, is that how they see you? Is that like how, or did you, did people, did people say, did anybody come to you and be like, what are you doing?

Susan Hyatt (27:43):
Um, well yeah. I mean even people at the gym <laugh> people were like, like what? Um, and, and it had a train and the came

Amy Stone (27:55):
It had a train.

Susan Hyatt (27:56):
Yeah. And it was sort of like, why?

Amy Stone (27:59):
Yeah, why, why were, why, why? What did you tell them? And

Susan Hyatt (28:02):
I was like, why the fuck not okay. I mean it's sort of like, why the hell 30 years of marriage and like recommitting, why would you not? I mean I'm just sort of like, listen, y'all can, y'all can do what you do. You right. But to me it's just like, it's fun. All of it's fun to me.

Amy Stone (28:31):
All of it's fun too. Yeah. Yeah. And so how, how would you say that your thought process, thinking back to 19 year old, you who got married also in a beautiful white gown that I've seen on social media. What, how did your thought process change? Like, looking back, cuz that's a, a tremendous transition. Like from 19 year old you to close to 50 year old, you celebrating this amazing transition. How would you, I mean, I how would you think that that thought process had changed, um, as you went from that wedding gown, um, which you shared that story publicly in other places of how you got that to creating this custom gown, which I think is a process, honestly, that a lot of people may not even really think is possible. Right? It's like, not even, it's like such a big gesture to yourself, such a big wonderful gift and celebration of yourself to be like, not only do I one of a kind made just for me, don't anybody else come near this, this is mine, Susan, it only fits me.

Susan Hyatt (29:21):
Correct. Yeah. It, it's a beautiful process to like sit with a designer and talk about exactly what your goals are for the gown and, and to have it fit you perfectly. Like up until the moment, the fittings up until, um, that is, that is a gift. So I would say the difference is, I mean, my God, at 19, um, I didn't even, I didn't have my, I didn't really have my own sense of style. I didn't understand anything about any of this. And I remember I went into a department store called Fines in Savannah, and fines at the time was the bufu boutique for brides. And um, I remember it was the first dress I tried on and I loved it, and it was sort of like, check, you know, I have a big white dress that I like it. Th there wasn't like a big process.

(30:28):
Um, but I also couldn't afford the dress or the veil. And my mom was like, I'll pay half, but that's it. Like, this is ridiculous. She was like, she was sort of like, not that into it anyway, um, because she was sort of like, what are you doing? Um, and I just remember the, that process was very just sort of, I was sort of filled with, um, not good enough or an, I felt very inferior shopping in that store and then embarrassed that I didn't have the money really. And then, um, you know, when I went in for my final fitting, I had gained a little bit of weight and the alterations lady was basically body shaming me and like, like grunting and like making noises and sucking her teeth. And like, you know, moose brides when they come in have really worked to get thinner, you know? Yes. Making all these comments. And I just, and then my credit card declined. I tried three different credit cards and they all declined. And our best man had to come pay for the balance on the dress, and I had to make payments to him for months. Um, so what a different process, right? Um,

Amy Stone (31:50):
What a different process. Oh my gosh. Yeah. No, a hundred percent. A hundred percent. So then how would you, I I I pick a part of the process of making the dress. I don't know if it would be in making the dress or making the, the very grand entrance mm-hmm. <affirmative> to, to this vow renewal. Like, but how would you phrase your, the, the thought process then? Like how you felt in those moments? And I haven't even asked about the shoes.

Susan Hyatt (32:20):
Oh my god, those shoes. <laugh>. Oh my God. Um, I felt, um, so satisfied with myself. I felt so celebratory and so like, just like, this is fucking amazing. Like, I just felt the whole thing felt so, um, aligned with who I am and it felt almost like justified. Like after 30 years of marriage, 32 years together, like we better have bagpipes and drums. Okay. <laugh>, you better have somebody carrying your train.

Amy Stone (33:09):
Absolutely. Oh my gosh. So you made this amazing entrance, this, this event, this 30 year of hour renewal. And you are an event planner who plans things to the max. I've been lucky enough to go to some of your events and you plan every detail to the very, very, very smallest thing. And so you may, you know, this custom dress shoes, um, custom jewelry made by your very fast best friend.

Susan Hyatt (33:34):
Yes.

Amy Stone (33:34):
Um, who is, uh, who you've known since this whole thing started, I think. Right? How long have you known Francis?

Susan Hyatt (33:39):
No, I've, I've known Francis, um, let me think about this. 13 years.

Amy Stone (33:45):
Okay. So not since all the way back, but a very, very long time. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> custom head to foot. Well maybe not the shoes, but just the over the top. You enter the back pipes. When you think about the day <laugh>, this is like the, an impossible question. Feel free to tell me you don't have an answer. Do you have a favorite thing? We talked about what you remembered from your first wedding and what you liked about that, but when you think about this, what stands out as what's a favorite thing, something that's top of mind right now, today, a few weeks after it happened that you really loved?

Susan Hyatt (34:18):
I swear to God, I have so many moments that are seared into my brain and like, this is the thing, this is why I want people to celebrate the little things and the big things because listen, that's all we have at the end of the day is the experience and the, and the memory of the experience, right. And how we feel. And so there were so many moments. Um, I would say Scott seeing me come down the stairs in the, in the gown. It was like the first look, you know, that brides do. And our photographer was sort of like, do you, do you wanna do anything like that? I'm like, oh, fuck yeah, <laugh>. Uh, yeah. And Scott was, um, very nervous about it because he just was like, I don't, I'm not gonna know how to respond. I'm like, you just respond how you're gonna respond, it'll be fine.

(35:15):
And he was like all nervous and then he couldn't quit blushing. So I, I just thought that was so sweet. He just did. He could not, he was like, oh shit, <laugh>. And then he just couldn't quit blushing. It was so cute. Um, also, um, many moments throughout it of Cora, um, like holding my train and like, um, just like caretaking almost. That was very sweet to me. Um, there then there were like the moments of, because I'm an event planner and because I stacked surprises for everyone, um, in terms of the experience of it, it wa it was so fun for me to watch their faces of like us arriving with, um, a pipe and drum band and then the flash mob. Scott had no idea that there was gonna be a flash mob interrupt. And because he was so shocked, my brother was ready to like pounce on them because he thought that it was just like people for real breaking into the ceremony <laugh>.

(36:31):
So it was like everybody's reactions to all the things. Um, the second line parade, like seeing everybody like parade around that square with us. Um, and then there was a moment of, um, my, my aunt Kathleen, this was like an interesting story of she and my uncle Jeff could not make our first wedding and she couldn't make our first wedding. She at the time was um, a clothing designer in New York and my uncle Jeff owned a factory that manufactured her goods. And it was like the eighties, kind of like the recession that was coming, like really, um, the bottom kind of fell out and they, their business started to struggle and she had an important meeting, like let's say with a buyer from, I can't remember who it was, but let's say it was like a Macy's or a Bloomingdale's and this was a really important meeting and she chose the meeting instead of coming to my wedding.

(37:49):
And um, she came up to me, so she's almost 80 now and she was just weeping cuz they were at the reception and she was like, I'm gonna cry talking about it. She was just like, I've regretted all these years not coming. And it just struck me like, we all have those moments where we choose business over family or bullshit over friendship and it's like, shit, I don't want to, I always say have the story's not the regrets. And I just was like, listen, you're gonna make me cry at my own reception. And I was and it was just like, oh my God. Like I've been salty about it for 30 years, <laugh>. And I'm like, I don't, I don't wanna make, I know I have made decisions in the past that I've regretted. And it just showed me like here she is almost 80 years old, still regretting that, that she chose like to meet with a buyer at a department store or whatever it was. It was something like that instead of coming to my wedding. And I just was like, wow. You know, to actually have that conversation 30 years later and have her say like, I wasn't gonna miss it again.

Amy Stone (39:15):
Oh my gosh, that really is a gift, an unexpected gift because it

Susan Hyatt (39:21):
Really was.

Amy Stone (39:22):
Yeah. That is beautiful. I love that. It was

Susan Hyatt (39:25):
Really beautiful and it was sort of like, there were so many things like that that happened, um, just like conversations with family members that happened or like closure on different things that it w it just really was the whole thing was healing in so many ways.

Amy Stone (39:48):
Oh my gosh. I'm so thankful for that. I mean it is, I mean it is that very famous advice, right? Which is like I, when people die, they regret these things that they do, you know, these decisions they made. And of course the flip side of that is that your Aunt Kathleen, when she was presented with that realtime decision, ha you know, she made what was the best decision she could at the time. And we make thousands of those every single day that we, you know, we don't see any other option. We can't see in the rear view mirror until we're in the future. Right? Right. And so, um, it is such a beautiful moment that you had that opportunity to reconnect and close that loop and heal that wound, which, you know, you guys, you guys were sharing Oh my gosh, super special. Okay, so the name of your podcast is, you know, you've got Nerve and you help people work up the nerve to do the things that they wanna do in their life.

(40:39):
And this to me was a real life example of somebody stepping in and saying, this is not something everybody does. This is not something that, you know, you wake up and say and, and everybody's like, yes, I'm making myself a custom gown for a vow renewal. Right. <laugh> and you got the nerve to dream this up. Share it with the rest of us that got to share it along the way. Like, share with us a little bit, and this is something you talk about a lot of the time, but talk about it from your side. Right? Why do you think it's so important for people to get up the nerve to do the things that they dream of?

Susan Hyatt (41:12):
Cause the alternative is ultimately more painful, so to, to live with. I could have gone for it and found out or right. I it, I think in the moment it's scary or it's uncomfortable or we're, we are full of fear about what might happen if we do go for the thing or get up the nerve to say it, be it, whatever. But the alternative is that we just go ahead and like disappoint ourselves now. And so I wanna alwa I have to remind myself of this constantly, like, this might blow up in my face or this might not work or this might not land well, but at least I'll know, right? Like, let's find out, let's, let's find out what's gonna happen instead of always wondering what could have been.

Amy Stone (42:11):
And that's, yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. That's good. So that is what I have today for questions. I wanna thank you for letting me turn the tables and ask you all of these questions today. I'm gonna put it on my resume. Asked a question that Susan cried. <laugh>

Susan Hyatt (42:25):
<laugh> you made Susan, I had cry. Um, listen, I mean we could have talked on for two hours about this. There's so there were so many things that happened and I, I appreciate you asking good questions cuz when you ask good questions, you get interesting answers.

Amy Stone (42:42):
A hundred percent. I can't wait to hear what the next thing is that you get up the nerve to try.

Susan Hyatt (42:49):
Okay. I'll tell you what it is, <laugh>. I'll tell you what it is. I'm gonna Oh, Kentucky walk the Camino. That's right. I turned 50. We are recording this on May 2nd. So my birthday is this Friday, May 5th.

Amy Stone (43:05):
Happy birthday to you.

Susan Hyatt (43:07):
Thank you. And I decided I'm gonna get up the nerve to walk the Camino and, and go on that pilgrimage. Um, so I will keep you posted about it.

Amy Stone (43:18):
Now are you gonna do the whole thing or are you gonna do a chunk?

Susan Hyatt (43:21):
I'm doing a chunk. Um, so I'm doing 10 days

Amy Stone (43:25):
Because the whole thing is like a commitment. It's like two days. Yeah, right. Exactly. I mean, not that I, not that I would put that past you if you said I'm gonna do the whole thing, but <laugh>, but 10 days is still 10 days is a massive commitment. People, um, like, so people who don't know what walking the Communo is may not, may not quite get that, but it's a, you know, the religious pilgrimage from and you're gonna go in where which part of the journey are you doing

Susan Hyatt (43:48):
Spain? So I'm gonna go from Leon to, um, Santiago. So

Amy Stone (43:54):
It's Leon to Santiago.

Susan Hyatt (43:55):
Yeah. Yeah. And so it's um, it's, it's technically called the French Way. Okay. That I'm doing, which is actually the most popular route. Um, I was gonna pick the North way. Um, but I think with folks that wanna come along, it might be too, too much, too challenging. So yeah,

Amy Stone (44:16):
This is gonna be epic. I love also that, um, I think you like willed this into creation. This is a, a pilgrimage that people planned for decades and I think you wielded into submission in like 10 days <laugh>.

Susan Hyatt (44:27):
Oh yeah. I was sort of like, I interviewed, in fact, uh, two weeks I interviewed, um, Nicole Antoinette, who has a book out called How To Be Alone and it's about a, um, I can't remember how many 900 mile hike she went on or something. And I'm, I'm talking to her, I'm like, I don't think I wanna do that, but I do. I maybe I'll walk the Camino. It happened because I interviewed her. Yeah. And then I got off the, the podcast mic and I'm like, you know what, that's what I'm gonna do for my 50th. I'm gonna walk the motherfucking Camino <laugh>. Yes you are. Yes you are. Oh my God. Truly epic. That's exciting. Thank you. Well thank you so much Amy. I appreciate you being my Oprah Winfrey for the day.

(45:18):
All right. All right. So if you wanna achieve things beyond your wildest dreams and celebrate Big, the next round of My Beyond Mastermind begins next week. And members from the last cohort achieved in six months what it would've taken six years to accomplish without a program like this. Past members have inked lucrative book deals, tripled their income, top bestseller lists, relocated to dream locations and so much more. So get all the details on my website or at the link in the show notes and apply for beyond. I honestly think at the time of this recording, we have one spot left. Um, so until next time, until next episode, I'm wishing you to get up all the nerve you need to go after everything you want.

 

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