Say No Until You Have the Life You Want (Throwback Episode)

How are you feeling right now? Are you feeling energized, well-rested, enthusiastic and confident? Or are you feeling drained, uninspired, perpetually at the bottom of your own to-do list? If the second description sounds more like you, I want you to pay extra-special attention today.

If you’re working yourself into the ground (or even a hospital bed!), you need to sloooow down. Success and an awesome business are not worth killing yourself over – and I’m willing to bet that there are some things in your life right now that are receiving a “yes” from you when they should be receiving a “no”. Maybe for you it’s afternoon carpool duty, or cooking for every mouth in the house, or offering too many free services to potential clients.

Today we’re going to do some No Training, my friends. It’s an essential skill to be able to say no to things that drain your energy or are simply misaligned with your goals. You have to protect your abundant, money-making, life-loving energy if you want to have a rocking business and a life full of joy. I’m giving you three questions to ask yourself in this episode, too, so you can check in with what you’d like to say yes to, what you want to say no to, and what lingering project or task you could check off right now to feel better.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Why working so hard you wind up in the hospital is NOT the way to success or happiness.
  • How to consider requests for your time & energy with discernment.
  • What saying “no” will open up for you in life and business.
  • Three questions to ask yourself about how you want the next few months to look and feel.
  • Why I want you to finally finish that lingering project on your to-do list.

Featured on the Show:

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Welcome to the Rich Coach Club, the podcast that teaches you how to build your dream coaching practice and how to significantly increase your income. If you're a coach and you're determined to start making more money, this show is for you. I'm master certified life coach Susan Hyatt, and I'm psyched for you to join me on this journey.

A few years ago, a woman emailed me from the hospital and asked for my help. And her plea said, “Please help me figure out how to take care of business without killing myself in the process. I cannot keep up this pace.” And my heart broke. I wanted to fly through my inbox directly to her bedside for a long talk.

I’m all about building a thriving business, but if you’re hustling yourself into a hospital bed, honey no, god no. IV drip should never be part of your business plan. And if you’re a chronic over-worker, over-efforter, please let this be your wakeup call. There is nothing more important than how you feel; nothing. If you make a big pile of money but you’re too busy or too stressed or too tired to enjoy your life, what is the point?

And if you’re too busy to walk barefoot on the grass, call your best friend, get a good night’s rest, eat real food, watch your kid’s recital or game or science project or take an actual vacation, it’s time to evaluate what’s going on.

If you had a nine to five boss who worked you so hard that you wound up requiring medical attention, you might sue that boss for being an inhumane monster. Listen, don’t be awful. Don’t be that kind of boss to yourself.

Whether you run your own business or not, I urge you to evaluate your life closely because I know plenty of stay-at-home-moms and corporate people who are running themselves ragged too. The burnout crisis isn’t unique to us female entrepreneurs.

Tomorrow morning, when the usual flood of invitations, requests, needs, starts to flood into your life, like it probably does every Monday, resist the knee-jerk temptation to say, “Yeah, sure, no problem,” to every single damn thing. Don’t respond automatically. Consider each request discernfully.

Is it right for you? Do you have time? Do you want to do it? Do you really? Remember that no is always an option, so let’s do some no training together, y’all. Repeat after me, “That’s a flattering invitation, but no thank you, I’ll be hanging out with my family this weekend. I wish I could participate, but I can’t. Thanks for asking, though. Nope, I cannot reschedule our session for next Monday because that’s when my vacation starts.”

“Actually, no, I don’t offer refunds for last-minute cancellations. Please refer to the refund policy that you reviewed back at the beginning of our work together. No thank you, that’s not something I’m interested in doing. No, that’s not a service that I provide. No, I don’t give free consultations. No, I’m not available. No, by plate is full. No, I have other projects that need my full attention right now, but thanks.”

No is a magic word that can clear away stress, resentment, and stomach-twisting obligations that drain your power and steal your life. Keep saying no in a million different ways until your life starts to feel the way you want it to feel. Keep saying no until the nose barely above water frenzy of busyness starts to subside. And keep saying no until you can breathe again. I’m begging you, don’t miss your life.  Don’t sacrifice your health. You’re too important to the planet and you matter.

Here’s your Two-Minute Pep-Talk for the week. This is the part of the show where I share some encouragement and inspiration to get your week started off right, and I try to keep things to 120 seconds or less, but this week, it’s going to go over, y’all.

So, I’ve just been jamming on health, on saying no to protect your precious life energy. So when you say no consistently to things you don’t want to do or things that don’t light you up or things that drain you, then you start to open up time and energy for what you really do want.

And I also know that some of y’all, lots of y’all, have the capacity to dial it up and stop your hiding. So we’ve got about 106, oh my god, days left until the end of 2019. I know, it’s crazy, right? And those days are going to fly by so quickly. We’re going to blink our eyes and, whoa, it’s Halloween. By the way, what are you going to be for Halloween this year? And then blink again and, damn, it’s New Year’s Eve.

With 106 days to go, this is a great time of the year to check in and ask yourself, how’s my year going so far? What’s working for me? What’s not?  And how do I want the rest of this year to feel?

Let’s do a quick check in together. So I have three questions for you; just three. It’s not going to take a lot of time and it’s going to be very illuminating, I promise.

So, right now, please grab something to write with. And if you’re multitasking, like I love it when you guys message me and say, “I always listen to your podcast when I’m at the gym or when I’m walking my dog,” or whatever. So maybe you’re not in a place right now to grab something to write with, but when you are, get your notebook and pen and do this.

So, get ready to write down responses. And if you’re driving or running or whatever, just think about it. You can pause the audio for a second if you need to and scooch across the room and grab something to write with, but here we go.

Over the next 106 days, what do you want to say yes to? What do you want to say no to? So I’ll give you an example.  I just said no this morning, my assistant Elizabeth messaged me and I get a lot of requests to be on my podcast, and I also get a lot of requests, thankfully, to be a podcast guest. And I love doing that because I love spreading the BARE message and the make money without hustling yourself until you’re dead message.

And this one podcast producer was basically suggesting evening or weekend times to record and that was it. And I was like, “Guess what, no, Elizabeth. Tell them no. I am all about protecting my energy for my highest and best, and this obviously isn’t a good fit.” It felt great to say no. So what do you need to say no to?

So, we have what do you want to say yes to? What do you want to say no to? And what do you want to just finish already? So, let’s look at each of those questions a little more closely? What do you want to say yes to?

So, all summer long, for the second year in a row, I’ve been leading a coaching program called The Summer of Yes. And it’s a program about saying yes to life, yes to sunbathing on the beach, yes to hiking with your dogs, yes to lounging outside on the patio with your husband or wife and sipping rosé, yes to putting your happiness first, yes to making memories, yes to all that.

And leading this program is always so inspiring for me personally because I get to watch so many people say yes to themselves in a major way. But what about you? As we head into the final 103 days of the year, what do you want to say yes to?

Maybe you want to say yes to putting your health first, yes to making time for creative projects, yes to hedonistic pleasure, yes to swimming in the ocean. Whatever pops into your mind, write it down. And then the next question, what do you want to say no to?

So I gave you my example of, like, listen, I’m not going to show up on the evenings and weekends, even if it’s a podcast host that – well, okay, if it was Oprah, I might. But other than that, forget about it. But what’s something that’s been sucking away your energy lately, something that’s just not working for you anymore.  Write it down, hell no to that.

Maybe you want to say no to oversleeping and then feeling rushed every morning. Oh, my god, that was me 13 years ago. Maybe you want to say no to over-scheduling yourself. That’s me quite often. Maybe no to afternoon carpool, no to putting everyone else’s needs above your own, no to watching stressful news on TV every night before bed. Whatever you want to say no to, write it down.

And then the last question, what do you want to finish already? I know there’s probably something that’s been sitting on your desk for weeks or even months, something you really want to do or finish but you’ve just been putting it off, like the book you started writing 18 months ago, you know, the book that’s 90% done but not quite finished yet, or that garage you want to convert into an office and you kind of started working on it but then life got in the way and you stopped, or that class you’ve been meaning to register for but you’ve been putting it off for whatever reason.

Pick something that you’ve been procrastinating on, something that you really truly want to do, and write it down. And pledge to yourself that you’re going to do this thing for real. Think about how good it’s going to feel to finally check that item off your list.

Alright, lovely people, I hope those three questions gave you something to think about this week, and you know what to do next. Whatever you want to say yes to, do it. Whatever you want to say no to, don’t do it. Whatever you need to finish, do it. Focus your attention, blast your favorite music, roll up your sleeves, just do it. Focus on how great it’s going to feel to make those promises to yourself and keep them. And you can finish 2019 on such a strong note, and it can all start today.

Now, we’re moving into the part of the show where I give shout-outs to you; shout-outs to all my listeners, clients, and all y’all fabulous people in my business community. And today, I just have initials, but I just want to give a shout-out to KHC Coach.

So, KHC Coach left me a five-star review entitled Mic Drop, “Nobody drops the mic like Susan Hyatt. I always learn something new and am consistently challenged in my thinking by Susan. We don’t always agree. I’m a tad more conservative, ha, but I so appreciate her directness and honesty and her self-expression. She gives away gold on the regs.”

Hey, that means a lot to me, KHC Coach. And many people don’t know this, but up until the 2016 election, Scott Hyatt, the silver fox, was a registered Republican. And so a Liberal and a Republican have been together 28 years and loving each other. And so I’m all for – I love it when people are like, “I’m not as liberal as you, girl, but I can get down with some of what you’re saying.”

So, welcome to the community. Thank you for appreciating my mic drops. And hey, if you have something to say about this show, send an email to my team, support@susanhyatt.co, or post a five-star review on iTunes or Stitcher or any place you listen to podcasts and you might hear your name on a future episode. I love giving shout-outs to people in my community, so holler at me. Thank you for the love, I love you right back.

In conclusion, I want you to really think about those three questions I asked; what do you want to say yes to? What do you want to say no to? What do you want to finish?

And that last one, what do you want to finish, tends to be a stumbling block for so many of us because often, we know what we want to get done but we don’t have the mindset or the structure or the knowledge to finish it up.

And I know for me, I have enlisted help to pull off anything worthwhile in my business. I’ve had a writing coach. I’ve had somebody help me through the publication process. I bring in people to help me produce the BARE Deck and the Go-Time Planner and events and all those things.

Speaking of events, if you want to be part of a community that has your back, join Rich Coach Club, the Facebook community. There’s a link for that in the show notes.  But if you want to get your booty to San Diego, October 4th through the 6th, we’re going to band together and Finish Strong.

This is an event designed to help you slay these last 106 days. People who came last year, oh my god, I tear up thinking about the money made, the lives changed, and the impact that these men and women have had over the past year because they showed up for themselves in San Diego. Last year it was in Chicago. This year, San Diego.

So, we’re going to put some info in the show notes so that you can sign up. I’m also opening enrolment for my masterminds. I typically open enrolment at Finish Strong for my masterminds, but send us an email at support@susanhyatt.co if you want the advanced info.  And I want to thank you. I want to thank you for listening to today’s episode and I hope you create a lot of space for yourself by saying no, saying yes, and finishing strong.

Thank you for listening to Susan Hyatt's Rich Coach Club. If you enjoyed today's show, please head over to susanhyatt.co/cash where you'll find my brand-new money magazine. Now listen, we designed this magazine to be entertaining, educational, and help you make serious bank.

So you can download the magazine, there’s a money quiz inside, there’s an interview with one of my favorite clients who went from making no money and being served eviction papers, to making over six figures in a very short amount of time. So the magazine includes that feature, lots of resources to help you do it, lots of resources about creating wealth and investing money.

It’s pretty robust, y’all. So head over to susanhyatt.co/cash to get that magazine. And you’ll also find a link to join my free Facebook community, especially for coaches called Rich Coach Club. So bring your coaching practice and your income to the next level at susanhyatt.co. See you next week.


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