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Haters Can Help You Make More Money

Here are a few comments I received on my latest Facebook ad campaign:

She looks like a reptile.
Her makeup is aging her.
That’s A LOT of eye makeup – heavy around the eyes.

It’s important to note that these comments did not come from faceless trolls – they were made by women, with public profiles, whose profiles were filled with memes on “empowerment.”

I share these comments not because I’m trying to build a vigilante army to tackle the trolls.

I share this because:

  1. It’s the perfect example of how women weaponize their words against other women online without a second thought
  2. It doesn’t really matter what you do, say, create, or wear — you will be judged.

If you’re doing important work in the world, then you’ve gotta handle the haters.

I want to share with you the importance of shifting your mindset around the meanies — how to deal with hate mentally and emotionally.

My first recommendation is to make their criticism your FUEL — not your downfall. If they poke fun at your makeup, your hair, or what you wear — dial that sh*t up! If they say your voice is annoying, use it more. Double-down on what they hate. This will bounce those haters right outta your space and invite in more of the people you want to serve.

Use the hate as INSPIRATION for your mission. Getting negative comments is the perfect #inspo for your own content, products, and programs. I created my entire BARE brand based on haters. Their misogyny and fatphobia have helped me change people’s lives worldwide.

And if you feel tempted to people please and get the haters to like you? Listen to the wise words of Tina Fey:  “Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions…Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.”

Finally, their hate is the perfect way to strengthen your COMMITMENT. Whatever your cause, mission, or movement – it’s time to burn up those excuses and do it.

Twirl on those haters. It’s go time.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • The importance of shifting your mindset around haters

  • How to deal with hate mentally and emotionally

  • How to let other’s crisicism fuel you and your commitment

  • How to invite more of the people you want to serve into your space

  • How to use the hate as INSPIRATION for your mission

Featured on the Show:

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Susan Hyatt:
Welcome to The Rich Coach Club, the podcast that teaches you how to build your dream coaching practice, and how to significantly increase your income. If you're a coach, and if you're determined to start making more money, this show is for you. I'm Master Certified life coach Susan Hyatt, and I am psyched for you to join me on this journey.
Hey coaches, my community is all riled up, and why? Because I shared some comments that I received on my latest Facebook ad campaign. And here's just a few of them. "She looks like a reptile." "Her makeup is aging her." "Hun, that's a lot of eye makeup, heavy around the eyes." "I'm not saying she's not attractive, I'm just saying she needs to wear less makeup." It's important to note that these comments did not come from just faceless trolls, they were made by women, with public profiles, whose profiles were filled with memes on female empowerment. So I share these comments, not because I'm trying to build a vigilante army to tackle the trolls because we don't have time for that shit, I share this because number one, it's the perfect example of how women weaponize their words against other women online without a second thought. And number two, it doesn't really matter what you say, or do, or create, or wear, you're going to be judged.
So if you're doing important work in the world, then you've got to learn how to handle the haters. And in today's episode, I'm sharing with you my best advice on dealing with trolls, that keeps you emotionally resilient and protects your joy. Before we dig into today's episode, I've talked about this plenty of times, but particularly on past episode, number 38, that episode dealt with specific strategic steps that you can take when dealing with online bullies. I highly, highly, highly recommend it. Today's episode is not about how to respond, what to say, and when to get the authorities involved, it's about shifting your mindset around the meanies, and how to deal with hate mentally and emotionally. So my first recommendation is to make their criticism your fuel, not your downfall.
So if they poke fun at your makeup or your hair, let me just interject here. My hair and makeup was professionally done by amazing women. So Andrea, who has been my hairdresser for a decade, as well as Kayna, who has also done my makeup for as long, these women know what they're doing. So it's not about whether or not makeup and hair is done well because it was, or what you wear, I also have a stylist named Elsa Isaac, who is, she is a genius and a creative artist. And listen, I know I was looking fly. If they poke fun at makeup, hair, wardrobe, dial that up. If they say your voice is annoying, use it more. Double down on what they hate. This will bounce those haters right out of your space and invite in more of the people you want to serve. So I don't ever read those comments and be like, "Oh, they might have a point," right?
But I think sometimes, especially in the beginning of my career when I was feeling more insecure, anytime anyone had something to say about my appearance or what I wrote, I would take it to heart. And for sure, what you want to do is decide that you're... Not that you're not going to take thoughtful feedback, that's different than hateful criticism. You want to double down on what they hate. People throw rocks at things that shine, à la Taylor Swift, and so you want to bounce them out of there by deciding that you're not going to listen to their hateful feedback, that you're going to use that as fuel to shine brighter. Use the hate as inspiration for your mission. Getting negative comments is the perfect #inspo for your own content, products and programs. I created my entire BARE brand based on haters. Their misogyny and fatphobia have helped me change people's lives, worldwide. Think about that.
I basically took hateful systems, designed to keep women small, and use that as fuel to create change. And if you feel tempted to people please and get the haters to like you, listen to the wise words of Tina Fey, "Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions. Do your thing and don't care if they like it." I think there's a famous story from Tina Fey, where she was talking about how in her early days of Saturday Night Live, with herself and Amy Poehler, some of the male comedians were basically taken aback by some of their proposed skits, that the guys thought were too raunchy for women to produce. And that they just didn't like some of the raunchier stuff that they put together. And they were like, "We don't care if you like it." So I think that we have to look in the face of trolls and look in the face of really, misogyny, because that's what it is.
Women who post things to tear down other women, they've just internalized misogyny. So their hate is the perfect way to strengthen your commitment. So whatever your cause, mission or movement, it's time to burn up those emotions uses and commit to your mission, and twirl on those haters.
I was recently on Instagram. And I don't know if you follow Alyssa Milano, She is amazing. And she gets a ton of haters because she is an actress who uses her voice to make a scene. She uses her voice to talk about what's important to her politically. And she's very liberal and lots of people don't like that. And she was very, very active using her voice for the Me Too movement. And the attacks on her character and her family have been just awful. And she recently did an Instagram, it was a Reel, it might've been a Reel that she put on TikTok and then she reshared on Instagram. Anyway, she talks about the fact that when someone says something hateful to her about her, about her family, threatens her or threatens her family, blocking them and deleting their comments is not censorship.
I think this is another little nuance to this, is that when you create boundaries around haters, when you decide, "I'm going to double down on all this stuff they don't like," and remove them from your virtual living room by blocking them, deleting their comments, whatever it might be, sometimes people can clap back at you and say, "Oh, you just only want yes men around you. You can't handle alternate voices." And she was basically saying, "When I create those boundaries and remove you from my space, that's basically called self-care, okay? That's protecting my heart and my mental health." And so I wanted to add that in here that you don't owe strangers on a free app anything, okay? You don't owe them shit. And so what you want to do in addition to doubling down on who you are, remove them from your space, do not give them your energy. Delete, block, they're out of here. And that doesn't mean that you can't handle it. It means you're choosing self-care. Who wants to read that kind of stuff all day long? Not me and not you. It's go time.
Okay, it's time for some community wins. And I have so many today. I always love to feature beautiful victories and accomplishments from my clients, whether it's one-on-one clients, or Mastermind clients, or members of the Go Time Facebook group. And I have to say, I think I've bragged about this woman multiple times, but she keeps serving up things to celebrate. Kelli Thompson, who's in my higher level Mastermind, she's participating right now in our July challenge is 30 days of selling. And I think I mentioned on a previous episode, we were so inspired by a couple of other Mastermind members who had emailed, and really reached out to their audience for 30 days in a row, and what happened. And so the rest of us are doing the same thing.
And so Kelli reported just last week, she was like, "Hey, I forgot to report. I made a lot of cash last week." So she secured one new one-on-one client, who enrolled off of a post she made about investing in yourself. And this is someone who had been considering working with Kelli for nine months, but that post really helped bring her in. Also, two group program sales, one off of an email, two VIP days from an email to past clients. And I think the total for all of that, I don't know, the VIP days were $7,400 alone. And so I basically was like, "Look at this." And she said, "Yeah, this is awesome," because the rest of July, she had taken a lot of vacation time, earlier in the month. So I'm sharing all this to say that sometimes in the online space, all you see is negative, all you see is people ranting, haters, people complaining about how hard it is to do business. And I love to curate a community of people who are celebrating wins. So congratulations to you, Kelli, so amazing.
And hey, if you're listening to this and you want some of that, you can check out the Go Time Facebook group, it's free to join. You get tips on business and marketing and sales, and all those things. If you want more personalized support, I want to encourage you to check out the show notes because we have information about joining my Masterminds. All right, so I have a couple more things for you today. First, I'm going to do a list review and then I have some juicy stuff and a call to action. But y'all know, I love to read out and shout out people who take the time. It's so sweet of you to listen to this podcast, but take the time to go over to Apple Podcasts and leave us a review. And I want to say, thank you for the five star review to, God, I don't know if I'm pronouncing this.
This is like a handle name, disjxint. Disjxint, I want to thank you for saying, "We all need Susan's truth serum stat. If you're a life coach that wants to level up not only in your business, but in all areas of your life, then listen to this show right here. Beyond grateful for the gems that Susan's dropping." Yes, I love it. I love having a microphone and being able to talk about what I want, and helping women make a scene, smash glass ceilings, make more money. So hey, if you're getting something out of this podcast, I would so love it if you would take the time to go leave us a review, right now while I'm recording this in the wee early hours of the morning. I have Moses the cat curled up on my desk, and Mork and Mindy, my pups, sleeping, snoozing. And it's such a delight for me to be able to fire this mic up at home and bring you all the gems.
Okay, one more thing before you go. One of my favorite sayings is "The sun doesn't give a fuck if it blinds you", okay? It doesn't. The sun doesn't care, keep on shining. So shine bright and let them wear sunglasses, if they can't handle it. All right, thank you for listening to this episode of The Rich Coach Club podcast. I have a couple of things I want to bring to your attention. Attention, attention. So I love creating ways for you to work with me, even if it's free, especially if it's free. And I have something coming up called the Make A Scene Virtual Happy Hour event. It's actually longer than an hour. It's a two-hour event happening on Thursday, August 5th, from 5:00 to 7:00 PM. I'm actually going to be doing this from Hawaii. And you can have a cocktail or a mocktail and join me because I've been thinking a lot about making a scene, it's been part of my brand for a long, long time. And I think that as women, if there's a change that you really want to see, you're not going to create that change by following the status quo.
You've got to be disobedient, bold, disruptive. You've got to make a scene. But that doesn't mean throwing a temper tantrum, all right, y'all? It means standing up for something important to you, asking for what you want, using your voice to show up and speak out. And so I've created this event, let's burn some shit down, okay? Because I want to help you shift from low quality vibes to high quality vibes, wash the toxic out of your life, say no, say yes, mute someone who sucks the life out of you, ask for something you want, try something bold and new, #FreeBritney. And let's make a scene. So we've got the info in the show notes. I hope you'll opt in and join me on August 5th.

 

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