One of the most beautiful takeaways from my 30-year vow renewal was seeing my daughter be so unapologetically herself.
Cora is educated, single, and free. She has strong opinions, a killer sense of style, and a low tolerance for bullshit. I mean, just look at the outfit she wore to the vow renewal. #slay
Cora also doesn’t love when I talk about her in my emails, so I always get her permission and respect her boundaries.
My Grandmother Ellen must be smiling down on Cora from heaven. With no more than a 5th-grade education, my grandmother didn’t drive after she had one fender bender, lied about her age because she was 7 years older than my grandfather, and never had a job outside of the home. And often, she would agree with you in conversation, even if she disagreed, just to keep the peace.
I know she must be applauding from above, “Look at what my daughter and her daughter did here.”
Look at what breaking generational rules can do.
And listen, I’ve made plenty of mistakes as a mom. I am by no means perfect. I cannot take all the credit for the incredible woman Cora has become.
What I am proud of is my deep commitment to helping my daughter feel confident, strong & powerful, to feel good about herself, to love her appearance, and to recognize how amazing she is.
And that started with modeling those behaviors myself.
To show up for my daughter, I need to be confident, strong & powerful. I need to love my body, my appearance, and my age. I need to fully know how amazing I am.
Lots of moms come to me, wondering how to help their daughters love themselves. Their hearts are broken, wondering why their daughters can’t see what THEY see.
Here is my best advice:
Change the way you think, talk, and behave when it comes to your appearance, your confidence, your joy, your wealth—all of it.
Kids are hyper-observant. Even when we don’t think they’re paying attention, they are.
It’s important to observe our thoughts, beliefs, and actions around food, body, appearance, confidence, joy, money, etc., and work to upgrade those thoughts and correct our behavior.
Many years ago, I used to duck out of photos, ashamed of my appearance. That ended when my daughter burst into tears when she was 6 years old, wanting to take a photo with me, and not understanding why I refused. I was signaling to my daughter that this behavior was okay, that women should shrink, hide, and crop themselves out of photos, experiences… and life.
Choosing to love yourself – all parts of yourself – is an act of defiance. It’s bold. It’s courageous.
And it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give to your daughter and to the world.
p.s. I created BARE because I want to make the world a better place for women and girls. I want women to build confidence and self-esteem, and shake off decades of shame, diet culture, and body drama. If you or someone you know need help with this, you can become a BARE Certified Coach or grab a copy of the bestselling book for yourself or a loved one.