During my last webinar, MOTIVATION HOUR, we worked through an exercise together I called a “Car Wash for the Mind!”
And I promised to send that out to you so that you can do it at home & reference this whenever you needed to!
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Wanna read the full transcript? Here ya go:
OK, Miracle peeps! Our next section is a little different.
For this next part, you will need some paper and a pen. Or your tablet. Or laptop. Or something you can write with.
I’m going to guide you through a little exercise.
The purpose of this exercise is to see if there’s anything you’re still hanging onto from 2017. Any discouraging feelings… any self-critical thoughts… any icky, heavy, toxic stuff… anything that’s weighing you down… anything that you DON’T want to carry into 2018.
We’re going to let that shit go… so you can move forward into 2018 feeling light and clear and optimistic.
Here’s the first part:
1 – Write down an icky situation.
See if you can remember a situation from 2017 where you felt discouraged or ashamed because of something you did… or, because of something you didn’t do.
Maybe you remember… bingeing on Oreo cookies because you were so stressed out at work.
Maybe you remember… canceling a beach vacation because you felt too fat to wear a swimsuit.
Maybe you remember… promising yourself you’d go to yoga class 3x a week and then breaking that promise, over and over.
See if you can remember an icky situation from 2017. Any kind of situation. Anything that comes to mind.
Write down what that situation was. An icky situation. An unpleasant memory. Something that you’re definitely not thrilled about. You can just write a quick sentence or two.
2 – Write down the thoughts that arise.
Whatever kind of situation you just wrote down… you probably feel pretty strongly about what went down and why. Right?
Even if it happened months ago, you might still have some pretty intense thoughts about what happened and what it all means about you.
Maybe you feel ashamed about it. Maybe you feel worried that you’ll do it again. Maybe you feel frustrated with yourself. Maybe you feel defeated.
Write down the thoughts that you have about what happened.
You can make a list. Or write a sentence or two.
And also write down the intense feelings I’m sure those thoughts are triggering.
So this is how it works… there’s something that happens in the world, and then we have our thoughts and opinions about it and then our thoughts and opinions trigger feeling states (that’s a physical vibration in your body.)
So frustration, shame, worry, defeat… whatever it is, put what feelings those thoughts are triggering.
You can make a list.
Okay now here’s the fun part! I’m going to pull you out of that ick!
3 – Reframe! Write a new story.
I’m guessing you wrote down a lot of heavy, distressing thoughts and feelings on that list, right? Now we’re going to work on cleaning those thoughts and feelings out of your mind and out of your body.
Have you ever met someone who has the most amazing way of taking any situation… and finding the silver lining?
You know, that one friend who can take a total disaster… and somehow, she always manages to turn the situation into an opportunity? She’s resilient and unstoppable. No matter what happens, she always finds a way to frame the situation in a positive light. The Silver Fox is totally like this. It’s awesome living with somebody like that!
This is a mental skill that’s called “re–framing.” It’s where you take something painful, discouraging, or disappointing, and you find a way to re-frame the situation in a new perspective.
Instead of telling yourself a disempowering story, you tell yourself an empowering story. Instead of talking to yourself like a bully, you talk to yourself like an encouraging friend.
Re-framing is a skill that can transform your day, transform your life, and yes, transform your habits and your body.
We’re going to do some re-framing together right now.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say, you’ve been saying to yourself:
I ate so much crap last year. I gained so much weight because I’m lazy and I have no willpower. I never have. I never will. I’m disgusting.
That’s a pretty bleak thing to say to yourself, right? It’s really harsh. Really self-critical. If you say that to yourself every morning, are you setting yourself up for an amazing, healthy, productive day? Uh, nope. Not really. You’re setting yourself up for a shitty day.
So, we want to re-frame the situation in a new light.
Here’s what you could say to yourself instead:
My eating habits weren’t great last year. Many nights, I’d eat too much because I wanted to numb out and release some stress.
But I recognize, now, that I can find OTHER ways to de-stress… without turning to food. I know I can make this change. I know I can take better care of myself. In fact, I’ve already begun. I’m doing it right now!
Do you see how the second statement feels TOTALLY different than the first one? You’re still saying the truth—which is, I ate too much food and I gained some weight—but you’re saying it with a completely different tone and feeling. In the second statement—the re-framed statement—you’re giving yourself a message of optimism and empowerment, not a message of self-criticism.
Now, it’s your turn.
Whatever happened in 2017… whatever you did… or didn’t do… I want you to re-frame the situation in a new light.
I want you to write down a brief statement about what happened, but with an empowering, optimistic tone.
Write out your re-frame.
You might use some phrases like:
“I got into a slump last year, but fortunately, I’ve learned some new mental skills since then. I’m doing much better already. And the best is yet to come!”
“I didn’t take very good care of my body last year, but this year, I’m committed to taking exceptional care of myself. And I’ve already begun. It’s all happening.”
Go ahead and write your new statement.
As you do this, you’re changing the thoughts inside your mind, which changes your mood, which changes how you act, and that changes your result and your entire day!
As you do this, you’re also releasing 100… 1,000… maybe 10,000 pounds of emotional weight. You’re releasing the old mental gunk that’s been weighing you down. You’re clearing and re-setting your mind for the New Year. Like taking your brain through the car wash. Sparkly and fresh!
The past happened. It’s over. You get to decide, “Am I going to punish myself and be cruel to myself and feel miserable about it?” Or… “Am I going to reframe it and tell myself a new story?”
4 – Share!
OK, anybody who’s ready and willing to share, I would LOVE to see the “reframe” that you came up with! So… if you’re listening to this from an email, you could just hit reply and let us know your reframe. You could share on social media with me… if we’re in a private group together you could share it there. But don’t stop. This is something that needs to happen every single day, which is why some people call it “mental floss.”
Okay. Go get it!