Assumptions make you an 🍑

Last week, in between my final gown fitting, a flurry of clients, and welcoming my closest family and friends in Savannah to celebrate my 30-year vow renewal… 

Someone made a scathing post about me online. 

Several clients alerted me to her post, and to my surprise, I was “friends” with this woman on that platform. 

Her thoughts about me were quite lengthy, scathing, and full of assumptions about a heartfelt post that I made on Instagram, dancing around in my wedding dress from 30 years ago.

I was in the middle of vow renewal festivities, getting ready alongside my daughter Cora when I was alerted to this woman’s rant. From what I could gather from briefly skimming her words, she assumed that my post was really just a flex about fitting into my original wedding gown. 

Listen, people can talk all kinds of shit about me, but you will not diminish my meaningful story into a “woman fits into her 30-year-old dress” narrative. 

The true backstory behind that Instagram post is this: I was on a hike with my husband Scott, and he made a joke, teasing that we could buy another commercial property for the cost of my custom gown (LOL) and that I should just wear my original gown from 30 years ago. 

In true Scott Hyatt fashion, he kept his teasing up for the entire hike, poking at my love for shopping, and betting that I probably wouldn’t even be able to FIND my original wedding dress in the closet. 

Teasing him back, I went home, found my old wedding dress, put it on, twirled around on my staircase, and said, “See! I found it, I’m wearing it, but not to our vow renewal. Deal with it, buddy!”

Aside from our joking around, putting that dress back on did stir up a ton of emotions, namely how the alterations woman made me feel 30 years ago, and the fact that I couldn’t even afford that dress in the first place. I wanted to share the story as a symbol of liberation. I once felt shame in that dress, and today I feel free.

This woman lost the plot somewhere and buried it in her own assumptions, then decided to rant about it in public where tons of people would see it, including me. 

In her post, she made an assumption about the bet I’d made with my husband. She assumed it was about losing weight to fit back into my 30-year-old wedding gown. That was not the bet. 

wedding dress

She also made an assumption about my joy. In my post, I’m dancing around in my old gown, holding a framed photo from my wedding. In her post, she wrote, “I wish she was this gleeful about her accomplishments.”

Clearly, this woman doesn’t pay attention to my posts because if she took a closer look, she’d notice joy and glee everywhere. I’m full of glee about my family, my friends, my clients, the sunrise, running, traveling, reading a good book, and my accomplishments, which I state proudly. But I also don’t need to mention accomplishments to drum up joy. I find joy and miracles everywhere.

And then there were insults about my intellect and perspective, only referring to me as an “anti-diet influencer” and projecting her shame onto me, with a disclaimer that, “I am doing the best that I can with the limited perspective that I have.”

People are free to misunderstand and make really (really) wrong assumptions about me. 

But I will not allow anyone to diminish my decades of education, entrepreneurship, and leadership, distilling the strides I’ve made down to “fitting in a gown.”

After I reached out to this woman to correct her, she apologized and removed her post, and I accepted her apology. 

Diet culture creates this kind of drama. It pits women against one another and drags us all down. And, for lack of a better term, it sucks.

I’m sharing this story because it perfectly illustrates the reason I created the BARE method in the first place. When we work together to abolish diet culture, when we deal with our own unhealed trauma and stop dumping on other women, that’s when we become free.

That’s why I wrote BARE. It’s why I train women to become BARE coaches. I want women to stop letting diet culture distract them, to quit making assumptions, and start focusing on their own power and liberation. 

Because THAT will lift us all. 

xoxo, Susan


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